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蕓蕓眾生搞笑文案|你們談戀愛都不公開是吧 !談到你老公 可別怪我

2024-07-17搞笑

你好,老板,我要下單一份真愛,不加眼淚,不加吵架,多加愛,謝謝!

姐妹們,都出去找物件啊, 忘了數學老師教的嗎 ?錯了也別空著![呲牙]

Sisters, go out to find a partner. Forgot what the math teacher taught you? Don't be empty even if you're wrong!

你以為你是誰呀,又想她漂亮,又想她洗衣服做飯,兜裏幾個錢,那麽貪!

跟一個男人聊天,我可能會漸漸依賴你,但如果跟十個男人聊天,我只會覺得你們很煩。

聊天解悶可以,但是戀愛麻煩你找別人談,姐不談?

Chatting can relieve boredom, but in love, please find someone else to talk to. Don't you want to talk to me?

雖然我不是很漂亮,但是我是屬於耐看型的,不信,你在仔細看看,是不是還挺順眼的[靈光一閃]

好煩啊,又想親嘴,又不想談戀愛,又想曖昧,又怕他認真。

It's so annoying. I want to kiss him, I don't want to date him, I want to be ambiguous, and I'm afraid he'll be serious.

閨蜜,問我為什麽老是找花心的男朋友,當然是因為怕太過專一甩不掉啊!

過去談一個 ,等訊息等到氣死,現在一次談十個 ,誰消失了都不知道。

In the past, we talked about one thing, but now we talk about ten at once, and we don't know who disappeared.

感情不要太較真,運氣好圖個真愛,運氣不好圖個真爽,再不行圖個經驗,格局開啟。

等姐有錢了 ,才不要歲月靜好 ,我要作 ,要鬧 ,要天天出門耍鈔票 ,要好看的爺們對我笑!

好男人別錯過,壞男人別放過,咱主打的一個就是,一個不浪費。

Don't miss out on good men, don't let go of bad men. Our main goal is to not waste anything.

/以前,怕男人不負責,現在,我怕男人讓我負責。我現在就是這狀態。

你們談戀愛都不公開是吧! 談到你老公,可別怪我!

You guys don't even go public when you're dating, do you! When it comes to your husband, don't blame me!

我說我在忙 ,你知道我在忙就行了, 就別問我在忙什麽? 我還得編。

幸虧我長得不好看, 按我這德行, 我要好看點, 我要狂成什麽樣。

親嘴可以,戀愛的話,會不會太曖昧。

Kissing is okay, but in love, would it be too ambiguous.

下次遇到喜歡的人,聽話,刪了他!

Next time you meet someone you like, listen and delete them!

你沒有對不起我 ,我愛你也是演的 ,別上頭寶貝 ,合作愉快!

聽說現在渣男,已經不渣小姑娘了。開始對中年婦女下手了。這訊息可靠嗎?

女人無愛一身輕,有愛變神經。男人不花心除非來月經。

再說一萬遍:不主動,就是不喜歡![靈光一閃]

Say it a thousand times again: If you're not proactive, you just don't like it!

男人是誰的不重要,誰在用誰是才是高手。

It doesn't matter who the man is, whoever is using him is the master.

出來玩,玩完就走,自己動心怪誰,不要把回憶搞過程還長,高手過招,點到為止。

當你越來越優秀的時候,追你都是帶著資產來的,而不是花言巧語。

有什麽好拽的, 遇到我還不是得叫我老婆, 比我高又怎樣 ?親嘴還不是得彎腰。

我不虛情假意 ,怎麽會配得上你的朝三暮四!

I am not insincere, how could I deserve your fickleness!

我不做教育,我只做選擇,對不起,你出局了!

I don't do education, I only make choices. I'm sorry, you're out!

這輩子只談兩種人,有少年感的爹,有爹感的少年。

我就是那種一邊演深情,一邊找下家。然後又一邊又傷心欲絕的。是這樣,又怎樣?

成功女人需要五步:

1.已讀不回

2.談錢不談情

3.嘴甜,心狠

4.絕不為男人難過

5.男人拽,你就給我甩

Successful women need five steps:

1. Cannot read back

2. Talking about money, not romance

3. Sweet mouth, ruthless heart

4. Never feel sad for men

5. If a man pulls, just throw it at me

你說四大皆空。卻緊閉雙眼,要是你睜眼看看我,我不信你兩眼空空。

You said all four are empty. But close your eyes tightly, if you open them and look at me, I don't believe your eyes are empty.