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芸芸众生搞笑文案|你们谈恋爱都不公开是吧 !谈到你老公 可别怪我

2024-07-17搞笑

你好,老板,我要下单一份真爱,不加眼泪,不加吵架,多加爱,谢谢!

姐妹们,都出去找对象啊, 忘了数学老师教的吗 ?错了也别空着![呲牙]

Sisters, go out to find a partner. Forgot what the math teacher taught you? Don't be empty even if you're wrong!

你以为你是谁呀,又想她漂亮,又想她洗衣服做饭,兜里几个钱,那么贪!

跟一个男人聊天,我可能会渐渐依赖你,但如果跟十个男人聊天,我只会觉得你们很烦。

聊天解闷可以,但是恋爱麻烦你找别人谈,姐不谈?

Chatting can relieve boredom, but in love, please find someone else to talk to. Don't you want to talk to me?

虽然我不是很漂亮,但是我是属于耐看型的,不信,你在仔细看看,是不是还挺顺眼的[灵光一闪]

好烦啊,又想亲嘴,又不想谈恋爱,又想暧昧,又怕他认真。

It's so annoying. I want to kiss him, I don't want to date him, I want to be ambiguous, and I'm afraid he'll be serious.

闺蜜,问我为什么老是找花心的男朋友,当然是因为怕太过专一甩不掉啊!

过去谈一个 ,等消息等到气死,现在一次谈十个 ,谁消失了都不知道。

In the past, we talked about one thing, but now we talk about ten at once, and we don't know who disappeared.

感情不要太较真,运气好图个真爱,运气不好图个真爽,再不行图个经验,格局打开。

等姐有钱了 ,才不要岁月静好 ,我要作 ,要闹 ,要天天出门耍钞票 ,要好看的爷们对我笑!

好男人别错过,坏男人别放过,咱主打的一个就是,一个不浪费。

Don't miss out on good men, don't let go of bad men. Our main goal is to not waste anything.

/以前,怕男人不负责,现在,我怕男人让我负责。我现在就是这状态。

你们谈恋爱都不公开是吧! 谈到你老公,可别怪我!

You guys don't even go public when you're dating, do you! When it comes to your husband, don't blame me!

我说我在忙 ,你知道我在忙就行了, 就别问我在忙什么? 我还得编。

幸亏我长得不好看, 按我这德行, 我要好看点, 我要狂成什么样。

亲嘴可以,恋爱的话,会不会太暧昧。

Kissing is okay, but in love, would it be too ambiguous.

下次遇到喜欢的人,听话,删了他!

Next time you meet someone you like, listen and delete them!

你没有对不起我 ,我爱你也是演的 ,别上头宝贝 ,合作愉快!

听说现在渣男,已经不渣小姑娘了。开始对中年妇女下手了。这消息可靠吗?

女人无爱一身轻,有爱变神经。男人不花心除非来月经。

再说一万遍:不主动,就是不喜欢![灵光一闪]

Say it a thousand times again: If you're not proactive, you just don't like it!

男人是谁的不重要,谁在用谁是才是高手。

It doesn't matter who the man is, whoever is using him is the master.

出来玩,玩完就走,自己动心怪谁,不要把回忆搞过程还长,高手过招,点到为止。

当你越来越优秀的时候,追你都是带着资产来的,而不是花言巧语。

有什么好拽的, 遇到我还不是得叫我老婆, 比我高又怎样 ?亲嘴还不是得弯腰。

我不虚情假意 ,怎么会配得上你的朝三暮四!

I am not insincere, how could I deserve your fickleness!

我不做教育,我只做选择,对不起,你出局了!

I don't do education, I only make choices. I'm sorry, you're out!

这辈子只谈两种人,有少年感的爹,有爹感的少年。

我就是那种一边演深情,一边找下家。然后又一边又伤心欲绝的。是这样,又怎样?

成功女人需要五步:

1.已读不回

2.谈钱不谈情

3.嘴甜,心狠

4.绝不为男人难过

5.男人拽,你就给我甩

Successful women need five steps:

1. Cannot read back

2. Talking about money, not romance

3. Sweet mouth, ruthless heart

4. Never feel sad for men

5. If a man pulls, just throw it at me

你说四大皆空。却紧闭双眼,要是你睁眼看看我,我不信你两眼空空。

You said all four are empty. But close your eyes tightly, if you open them and look at me, I don't believe your eyes are empty.